Make Peace with Food - Intuitive Eating Principle 3

Do you ever feel like certain foods are “off limits”? Do you tell yourself you can't eat certain types of food? Do you label foods as “good” or “bad”, "unhealthy" or “healthy”?

Creating food rules feels like the only way to stay “in control.” But what if those rules are actually what’s keeping you stuck?

Making peace with food means giving yourself unconditional permission to eat. It’s about taking foods off their moral pedestal and allowing all foods to fit. It replaces guilt and shame with curiosity and compassion.

When you deprive yourself of certain foods, cravings often intensify and take up more mental space. 

The Restriction–Rebellion Cycle

When you tell yourself you can’t have a certain food, that restriction immediately heightens the food’s appeal and increases food noise. 

At first, it might feel like your willpower is working. But as with any form of deprivation, that control can only last so long before it flips into desperation for the thing you tell yourself you cannot have. The moment you finally allow yourself to eat the food, it’s easy to feel out of control, guilty, and like a failure.

This cycle of restriction → craving → overeating → guilt → renewed restriction is exhausting. It’s not because you lack discipline. It’s because your brain and body are responding exactly as they’re designed to when faced with scarcity and deprivation.

When you stop restricting, that pendulum starts to settle.

Why Making Peace with Food Works

When all foods are truly allowed, food loses its emotional charge. All foods can begin to feel like they’re just food. This is called unconditional permission to eat and is the key to making peace with food. 

At first, you might feel like you can’t stop eating your previously forbidden foods. That’s a normal and temporary phase called habituation. The more your body learns that these foods are always available, the less intense your cravings become.

You may notice over time that sometimes you’ll enjoy the whole dessert, other times just a few bites, and occasionally you won’t want it at all—not out of willpower, but because it simply doesn’t appeal to you in that moment.

That’s what food peace feels like.

Ways to Start Making Peace with Food

If you’re new to this idea, it can sound impossible and scary. Hearing “unconditional permission to eat” sounds crazy when you've been restricting, but it is a critical step in making peace with food. This is what makes food lose its power.

Here some steps to help you begin:  

1. Start by noticing your food rules.

Write down any rules that influence your eating—foods you avoid, times you “allow” yourself to eat, or conditions you place on eating. Awareness is the first step toward loosening their power.

2. Establish regular, consistent nourishment.

Aim to eat every 3–4 hours, including meals and snacks. When your body is consistently fed, food feels less urgent and cravings feel less overwhelming.

3. Choose one previously restricted food to reintroduce.

Start small and intentional. Pick a food you’ve been avoiding and pair it with a meal or snack. This helps lessen the intensity and supports a smoother experience.

4. Eat with curiosity, not judgment.

As you try the food, notice:– What does it taste like?– How does it feel in your body?– What emotions come up? Shift from “I shouldn’t be eating this” to “What is this experience like for me?”

5. Repeat the experience regularly.

One exposure isn’t enough to undo restriction. Include the food several times over days or weeks until it starts to feel more neutral.

6. Expect discomfort—and view it as part of the process.

Feeling anxious, guilty, or out of control doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It simply reflects how powerful the restriction has been. With steady practice and nourishment, those feelings soften over time.

7. Practice self-compassion throughout.

When old thoughts or fears show up, respond with gentleness. Remind yourself that this work is challenging and that rebuilding trust with food takes patience and care.

Making Peace Takes Time

Just like honoring your hunger, making peace with food is a process. It’s normal to feel fear, doubt, and confusion as you unlearn the diet rules you’ve held for so long.

But as you begin to trust that no food is off limits, you’ll start to experience a calmness and freedom that food rules will never give you. When food becomes neutral, meals become satisfying, and your energy can finally go toward living and not obsessing over what you eat.

If you’re ready to make peace with food but aren’t sure where to start, you don’t have to navigate it alone. At Compassionate Nutrition, our dietitians - specialized in eating disorder recovery - are here to support you in finding a more peaceful, trusting relationship with food. Call or email to make an appointment today!